But some wanker brought them back to our shop today and asked for a new pair of shoes as he said they were faulty and shouldn't have gone like that in such a short space of time.
He had the receipt and when he gave it to us we saw that he'd had them 3 months. Yeah, 3 months of wearing them in all weathers, to every house/commune party, club, pub and illegal rave on the beach. Up the organic allotment with Tarquin 'Moonmonkey' Barclay-Dentalplaque, over the Southdowns countryside walk with the dogs, out around town putting up posters for your mate's Psy-trance night, to the farm farm for the cider festival, blackberry picking, fishing and generally anything else that Hugh Fernly-Wittingshall does on his River Cottage cookery programmes, to Lewes bonfire celebrations, Christmas Day booze-up and Boxing Day Morris Dancing specatacle and generally any other get together your rustic/pagan, right-on upper middle class, vegan, hippy, snobby anarchist set deem to go to to get wasted at and take the piss out of the people who genuinely do enjoy these things and try and ruin their day to amuse you and your chums!!!
I mean, what type of person keeps their receipt for 3 months? A blagger, that's who.
Now We've all blagged a bit in our time. Embellishing on a CV to get a job, tryng to get in to a club for free or even backsatge at a gig. But these twats think it's their right to be able to take something back that they've worn the shit out of - and get a free pair! In fact, I have had one person bring back a really old pair of Adidas with a receipt that he'd bought a new pair with a few weeks before and try and say they were the one and the same! Good job the receipt lists the items - but do they really think we're that thick? We love trainers and we know our stock inside out. Everyone of us has worked in 'the industry' for years but oh no, we're just dumb shop assistants - they won't know the difference. STOP WASTING OUR FUCKING TIME!!! In the end we took them and are gonna send them away for an 'inspection'. (We've done this before and they've come back as 'wear and tear' NO REFUND!)
He wasn't pleased with that outcome, he wanted a brand new pair of shoes there and then - which if we had given them to him, no doubt would have returned in a few months again - tough shit mate!
I just wish I could say that to them without losing my job!